oh to be a trainee...

I don't want to vent...I am absolutely sick of hearing about all the petty drama that goes on between trainees and trainers...she doesn't treat me right....shes a bitch...they dont say hi to me in the morning...its annoying bottom line. So I shut my mouth...and do as Im told...and don't make a fuss...you have to choose your battles...this I know for sure.

However...IM BORED OUT OF MY MIND...im bored...I came to this job to have fun...I get to meet with top level officials and figure out some creative way to find an angle to be better at their job than they are...it should be fun...well according to my trainers...it has to be structured...it has to follow the same pattern every time...ITS STATEGIC...OK HELLO WE ARENT SELLING...your strategies not to be blunt...but they arent working...and i have to say "ok" "ill work on it"...work on something that doesnt work...its stupid.

I hate putting on a fake face of...oh im gonna be the most professional person on the planet...oh please....sorry to break it to you but its BORING...and it DOESNT sell...obviously...

ok you want to show me a technique and show me why I should be doing it...with sales to back it up...fine Ill tighten my jacket and pants...sit up straight...never smile or get excited...alright it works...Ill do it. BUT IT DOESNT WORK...thats the problem. I have to sit there...I cant get excited...i have to do my interview "strategically" to "hurt" them at the right time oh god...puke. I dont know how much longer I can handle it...I hope for some reason they have to move me to my own project...where i can have a little bit of freedom in the the order that i ask about different topics...oh no...it has to move from clients to competition...and never be opbeat...oh no that would be bad.

no lets just sit there and bore the CEO out of their mind...of course they arent gonna buy...why would they...I WOULDNT and im selling it...so sorry to vent...but i feel like a blog is the only place i can....which is sad I know...

For the record...I would like to say...i love what i do...just not the way they make me do it...I don't do well inside a box...with restrictions on my every move...especially when ur not even giving me criticism on something that would help let alone WORK AT ALL.